Where's the Loot?

How much gold is in Fort Knox? According to the U.S. Mint, about 147.3 million ounces—roughly half of the Treasury’s stored gold—is currently held at the US Bullion Depository at Fort Knox. The site has been in use since 1937, and The Mint says that it has only removed very small quantities “to test the purity of the gold during regularly scheduled audits.” Apart from these tiny samples, no gold has been taken from the depository for many years.

It’s considered one of the most secure places on earth, which is why you often hear the phrase, “tighter than Fort Knox.” Not only is the site well-guarded, but the holdings are audited every year. According to Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, “all the gold is present and accounted for.”

For some weird reason, that’s not good enough for President Trump, who recently announced that he and Elon Musk want check it out for themselves.

“We’re going to open up the the doors. We’re going to inspect Fort Knox,” Trump said in a speech to Republican governors Thursday evening.

“I don’t want to open it and the cupboards are bare,” he added.

What a weird thing to say. Even weirder, Musk wants to livestream the event.

If you click on the video, you’ll hear a reporter ask, “Where would the gold have gone?” Trump doesn’t speculate, but he does say, “If the gold isn’t there, we’re going to be very upset.”

Like, What?

If there’s one thing we all know about Trump, it’s that he’s obsessed with the drama of television. The Apprentice was wildly popular, in part because of the dramatic conclusion to each episode. “You’re fired!”

We know that he can’t help but think about people through the lens of "central casting". And whether he’s donning a fast-food uniform or playing garbage man for a day, he knows how to create a media moment and turn it into a media sensation.

So I have to wonder, what do he and Musk have up their sleeves? Surely, they’re not going to show up at Fort Knox, cameras rolling, only to confirm that America’s gold is safe and sound. Thanks for tuning in, folks. Wasn't that exciting!

It would be the biggest letdown since Geraldo Rivera’s exploration of Al Capone’s vault in 1986. More than 30 million Americans tuned in to that nationally-televised event, only to watch the vault blasted open and Geraldo pointing to…a moonshine bottle and a lot of dirt.

Fans of the movie A Fish Called Wanda might recall the line, "George moved the loot? Where did he move it, Ken?” You have to admit, it would make for great TV.